A Fair Exchange

“To give or get what is required in accordance with equal exchange doesn’t call for tricky schemes or methods. Quite the contrary if we resort to any such schemes our people will see it. As a result, they will give us a really hard time. ”

— Jim Casey, 1954

When I started my career, I didn’t know all that I do now about what it means to be a leader, but I did know that I wanted to be a fair leader. That much I knew was true.  

However, I soon learned what is fair to an individual or group is all about their perspective. In other words, people want a Fair Exchange from their leader. There are many components to fairness, and as a leader, you must have a firm grasp of that. A perfect example of this are the various opinions on safety people had during the 2020 pandemic. Some thought being required to wear a mask was fair. Others saw it as patently unfair. The same was true for being vaccinated, many felt that this was necessary to protect the public. Others felt that being told what to inject into their bodies before engaging with the public was unfair.   

The pandemic was a somewhat extreme situation because it was unprecedented. It was up to world leaders to understand and try to respond to different perspectives on fairness. Leaders in companies must do the same for their employees.   

Fairness is one of the most important traits your team will use to evaluate you as a leader. 

The Dangers of Favoritism 

What is fair is routinely questioned by employees, whether it is a company policy change or how you treat each individual. One challenge you will face in being fair will be in your ability to not show favoritism. The definition of favoritism is: The practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person or a group at the expense of another. Statements like: “Life is not fair,” “To be fair,” “That’s not fair!”  “Fair play!”  are phrases that get to the emotional root of how important people see fairness. It is highly valued. We all have a natural inclination to show favoritism.  When employees excel and do good work, they become the leader’s favorites.  Excellent employees require the least amount of guidance, and they tend to be the ones the leader gravitates towards. They are typically agreeable and are easy to lead. 

Conversely, those employees that require more effort become “disfavored” and as a result, the leader strays away from them. 

Your challenge as a leader will be to make sure all your employees feel you are fair and unbiased. They all expect to be respected, listened to, and treated fairly. How you live the values of the terms and conditions of leadership must be equal to all. 

I have two sons, Pierce and Brayden. Growing up, they both always compared gifts that my wife and I gave them. This is natural for children. My older brother Tony and I also compared gifts. Anyone with siblings’ experiences this. As parents, we had to diligently keep track of all gifts so as not to create a perception of favoritism. We still engage in this practice today. If we give one of our sons less than the other, they create a mental IOU for us. Children have a “fairness” radar. It’s not just with tangible gifts, but with behaviors like attention, love, devotion.  Children learn young how they perceive what is fair and what is not. Employees do the same thing with their leader. 

Playing Fair: Knowing the Rules of Engagement

Fairness also includes the interpretation of rules. My older son Pierce played Little League baseball when he was twelve. He never missed a practice, because he felt they were important. Yet, he would get to play sparingly in games. Other players would miss practice and get to play the entire game.  Yes, they were better athletes. The coach, however, had a bias.   The starters missing some practice did not matter to him. His players saw that and acted accordingly. Those that didn’t have to practice didn’t, and there were no consequences. Those that had to practice, did so, but there was no reward for all their efforts. After a while, it was easy for the kids to say: “Why bother?” 

Today my son Pierce is a doctor. I am sure he has seen a lot of unfair practices in his day, but if you ask him when he was treated the most unfairly, he still points to that Little League experience. People do not forget when they experience what they believe to be unfair treatment. Most of us can relate and have a primary experience of being treated unfairly that still triggers us today.

Make no mistake, employees remember when they were treated unfairly and keep score. And they will measure you as the leader by their perception of fairness. Your employees will watch how you react to others, and what you do for each within the group. Which employees do you talk with the most? Who do you laugh with? Who do you spend time with off the job? When they see you go the extra mile for one employee on an issue versus others, they will see it as favoritism. When the leader shows favoritism to anyone, the group sees it clearly, even more so than the leader does. You’re always being evaluated.

Signs You’re Playing Favorites

When you have been unfair to an employee, they may not let you know personally. They will, however, develop attitudes and behaviors consistent with being treated unfairly. They may go over your head and complain about work assignments. They may be irritable or short tempered. They may stop responding to your requests. They may shut down. They could become toxic—talking back or undermining your authority. There will be signs. There are always signs, but you have to be willing to see them. If you don’t want employees behaving in these ways then you must address their concerns genuinely.  

Your goal as the leader is to have a team of employees perform well. It’s not a surprise when employees who feel they have been treated unfairly do not provide good work. To avoid this the terms and conditions between you and your team surrounding fairness must be established. Then you as their leader must live up to those agreements. As a leader you will have blind spots, things about yourself you don’t see. Your people will see them. But there are ways to start playing fair. 

Five Ways You Can Start Playing Fair 

1.  Make it clear to your employees that it is okay to bring issues they see as unfair to you personally.  
2. Identify some practices that are cultural norms, not rules or policies. Solicit feedback from your employees to determine if they feel these practices are fair. 
3. Establish with your team that you will follow all guidelines and policies and be sure to apply them to everyone equally, not just favorites. 
4. Identify your biases surrounding your employees. Who are your favorites? Who are your least favorites? Why? 
5. Once you become aware of these biases, begin to make amends with employees who feel they have been treated poorly. In other words, make things right. Schedule a lunch or a meeting, where you can hear their concerns. Ask them what they would like to see change. In my experience, employees are not shy about expressing how they wish to be treated, once you give them the opportunity to do so. If you have been favoring certain employees, setting boundaries and guidelines with them will be uncomfortable at first, but you may have to do so in order to earn the respect of those employees who have been treated unfairly in the past.

It’s important to constantly reevaluate your policies—as well as your own behavior and biases—to make sure your employees’ terms and conditions are met. It’s not a one and done process. If you want to maintain your employees’ trust, you need to be constantly assessing if you’re treating each employee fairly. 

About Noel Massie

Born and raised in Oakland, CA, Noel Massie attended San Jose State University’s School of Engineering before receiving a bachelor’s degree in business management from La Salle University. Massie went on to serve as UPS’s U.S. Operations Manager, supporting and guiding all package delivery and logistics services in the United States before retiring from UPS.  Today, Massie spends his time consulting modern businesses, mentoring future leaders, and pursuing his passion as an advocate for early child education programs.
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